Hi William

You are great with the quotes:

“The argument is at an end” – Saint Augustine.

But where does this leave you?

The issue is not whether you have offended people (and I’d hasten to say that you above all have apologised on every occasion for your comments, whether or not you needed to), but whether you have gained from Freedom 2B what you set out to achieve?

I don’t know you well enough to know the answer to this question. I am convinced your thoughts and needs will change over time unless you are a reincarnation of Gandhi or my grandfather. I’m not sure which one you might be?

I don’t think you believe any of your thoughts or needs will change and that is entirely your prerogative. However you have a right to share your ideas and questions on this forum. You also have a right to leave us.

However, please don’t leave because you have offended people, because although you are blunt (your own word), I think we are all grown up enough to discern your teenage enthusiasm from your comments.

If you are leaving because you are disillusioned by the responses to your posts, I’d much rather be told we are just not what you expected when you came to this site.

If you insist you’re just too offensive, I would beg you to reconsider your decision. Why don’t you let the readers decide?

Or is that too much of a risk?

In any case, take care. You are appreciated for disclosing a part of yourself on Freedom 2B.

Cheers!

Kit

I moved this post here from the Needing prayer support…? thread. As I indicate, I originally didn’t know where to put this post, and for some reason it didn’t occur to me to put it here until Sandy suggested it – no idea why, just wasn’t thinking, I guess…

Hi All,

I’m posting this here mostly because I’m trying not to draw attention to myself by starting a new thread, and I don’t really want to make a big deal out of the issue, and this seemed like the appropriate place to put it. I’m not actually asking for prayer support, per se, because you may very well end up praying for me for a looooong time yet, as I still have no idea what I’ll do.

Basically, the event I mentioned in my ‘Gaydar’? thread (namely, the coming-out of two school acquaintances) has actually affected me quite profoundly in that I have since started to think about coming out for myself. Recently, with my new outlook on life, renewed connection with God, and new comfort with my sexuality I’m finding it increasingly difficult to go on being so dishonest about myself* – despite the logic of staying closeted. To be honest I don’t know what I’m looking for here other than a place to vent, as I don’t expect anyone to have any particular insight into my situation that will effect my decision (of course, if anyone has advice to give it would be more than welcome).

Firstly, I must say that I’m not too concerned about the reactions of other people to my sexuality: my best friend already knows, my school friends have come to expect nothing less than perpetual surprise from me and will otherwise not really care, and I just don’t care what the extended family think.

Slightly more complicated is the issue of my parents: my father, for one, will ‘not care’ in the name of the tolerance and support he believes he owes to his children (even though he’d actually be disappointed inside – but that’s a whole other story). Mother wouldn’t be much hassle either – she’d just deal with it in her calm, consistent way: at worst, she’ll ignore me for a few weeks, then she’ll be uncomfortable around me for a while, and though she may never look at me the same again, eventually things will be back to normal.

No, I’m not concerned about what the neighbours will think. The two things that get me more than anything, really, are: i) how do I broach the subject, and ii) what about my future?

The former is very much a problem for me because of my adversity to both talking to my parents and mushy, sentimental situations with my parents. I am the least family-oriented person in the universe, and generally hold the family unit as a whole to be some kind of cruel experiment the neo-conservatives maintain just to watch us squirm 😀 . So it stands to reason that I don’t want to talk extensively with my parents about anything like this, and writing a letter would be more suitable.

Of course, letters hold their own dangers in that then I have to enter in to a chain of sentiment-swapping conversations wherein I have to assure them over and again that I still love them, that it’s not their fault, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Besides that, there is the issue of what will happen in the future (I believe I have neglected as yet to mention that I plan to be a minister). Naturally, at some point I will probably end up at a Bible College somewhere, and there’s no guarantee that they’ll be accepting or tolerant of my orientation, and even if I go back into the closet while there, then there’s no saying I won’t somehow be exposed through others.

There’s also the issue of what happens after Bible college – a partially conservative gay Pentecostal preacher doesn’t necessarily have many options – but that’s entirely in God’s hands; I trust Him to provide for me in that respect.

I think that’s about all I wanted to get off my chest. Again, I’m not asking for advice or prayer – this post is really just for my peace of mind – but if you want to contribute either I certainly won’t hold it against you. 🙂

Thanks for putting up with my musings, God bless,

– William.

* I actually did a bit damage a while ago with my rash, impulsive beliefs about my own future (not taking God and his apparent love of turning the world on it’s head into consideration), and I explicitly told my school friends that I’m asexual. Naturally, that concept was bizarre and perplexing to them and they started to tell everyone they met about it – so now half the school thinks I don’t have any sexuality, which I have hereto only found to be a bonus. So that may be a bit awkward when it comes to it. 😕

Looks like I’m not the only one who’s confused about where this post should be 😆 .

Actually, Kit, that sounds like exceptional advice. In my head I just have this idea that if I write a letter it has to be rather long and sentimental (remember that in my mind, sentiment equals awkwardness when it comes to family, so I like to avoid that).

I like the ‘one page limit’ thing and the criteria sound good too. That puts it in some greater perspective [nodding, wishing there was a ‘thoughtful’ emoticon]. It’s starting to come together in my head now.

Thank you, Kit, I didn’t expect anyone to have any particularly good advice (I’ve been reading some of the threads on GCN about coming out, and they haven’t really been useful), but that really was very helpful.

Much gratitude,

– William.

PS. Sorry to hear about your father and your inability to come out to him. 🙁

loving the pic! Work it William! Work it! 8)