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Catholic M2IS Trangendered person 31

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kinkly
 
Joined in 2008
August 27, 2008, 22:24

thanks AVB- I had heard St. marys was different didn’t realy know how

and everyone thanks 4 welcomes


You have had quite a journey health wise, how has that impacted your out look on life?


My life has involed alot of journeys of self descovery contantly wanting to fit in but still be me men’t next to no friends at school at the begining of grade 9 I joined our church youth group “Antioch” for the first time I felt accepted even though i was different I was still a loner @ school but I wasn’t pressured to be a man like I was at my old school. It was the only year that I didn’t pray that Something would happen so i wouldn’t have to come back again toward the end of that year that prayer was granted – Unfortunatly I also found out why i thought i was different. the Big C with no answer (Cancer) I spent most of the rest of that year in hospital I learnt quickly that to survive as a patient you had to learn patients I had a large number of experances that have shaped my faith & my outlook I started actively looking for god living in everyone I met. It wasn’t easy at first with a lot of people but when you believe that god lives in everybody – even me! if I seek god in others and dont be afraid to let god guide me wherever sie takes me I’ve realized that my journey is scary and If I didn’t have to grow up so fast to cope with all the medical crap There is no way I would be able to survive the emotional hell I’m I’m battling now. with the knowledge and faith created through amazing experance when I was lower then I think anyone should ever have to go.

one realisition i’ll share

Jesus suffered in agony for three hours and rose again

I’vwe been in constant agony for over 3 years – I can’t imagine what my resurrection will be like 😀

when I came to accept that I will always have problems with my health I felt a gr8 sence of peace. this has happened at other times since when i have accepted the confusion and hurdles of who i am with regard to my gender identity

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
August 28, 2008, 07:36

Their is a big overcoming in acceptance isnt their, as a pentecostal we have a strong belief(in many places anyway) to not give what you have going on with you a voice or almost go into a denial because if you say “yes I have cancer” or “yes I have MS” then youre not walking by faith 🙄 that is soooo far from the truth 😡


I found that whenever I have accepted anything that is going on with me no matter what that may be, I was then able to put some means of action into place to deal with it (and have a peace as you have said which is so true 😀 ) and then I really was walking in faith because I left it up to God to help me get through it, so in other words I would do what I can but the rest was out of my/medicines hands and in Gods hands.


You have had quite a journey Kinkly so far, I know I will have more to ask you yet 😉

kinkly
 
Joined in 2008
August 28, 2008, 14:41

ask away I find it a lot easier to write when I have guidence on what topic they would like to hear

Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
August 29, 2008, 09:27

Ah nothing like Maggie then who will just talk, and talk, and talk and… 😆 😆

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
August 29, 2008, 09:57

Ah nothing like Maggie then who will just talk, and talk, and talk and…


You will keep Miss Curtin girl 8)


😆 😆 BTW You forgot to mention even underwater 😉

kinkly
 
Joined in 2008
August 29, 2008, 18:32

Ah nothing like Maggie then who will just talk, and talk, and talk and…


You will keep Miss Curtin girl 8)


😆 😆 BTW You forgot to mention even underwater 😉


LoL 😆


There have been many times when I’ve said something weird(RL & online)

that has been too weird tht has stoped conversations dead I don’t want to do that hear so having guidence as too what topic reduces the likeness of that happening. that happened 2day with my shrink she gave me the too weird look b4 she realived & went back to he professional look quick but she wasn’t comfortable for the rest of the session I don’t know if it was me or the fact that she dropped her professionalism that made her uncomfortable after that.

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
August 29, 2008, 19:07

I think its good to “wow” the health professionals every now and then 😆 keeps them on their toes and thinking less that they have heard it “all” before LOL…..


Im interested Kinkly and forgive me if I have ballsed this up but what part of yourself do you find challenging to resolve with your faith? Is their any aspect you are coming to a resolution with?

kinkly
 
Joined in 2008
August 29, 2008, 23:02

in my youthgroup days one of the things that was installed in us was – I Know I’m somebody because God Don’t make no Junk – so why do I feel so wrong

surely cancer was enough of a cross to bear

but I can see that these thoughts fighting

the realisition I probably wouldn’t be able to cope with what I’m going through if I didn’t go through the emotional & spiritual growth caused by the experances god has given me because of my health issues and I’m scared that the one thing I realy want (a loving wife & family)is not in gods plan for me

I’m scared that this life is only going to get worse for me -more lonely (if thats possible) and more struggles as I work towards fulfilling gods job for me – whatever it is ❓ and I won’t be around to experance the fruits of the seeds god is sowing through me


Does god realy love me if so why am i being put through so much pain

kinkly
 
Joined in 2008
September 1, 2008, 11:57

did i say some thing wrong / weird

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
September 1, 2008, 12:10

No you didnt, just havent replied yet 😉 Sometimes replies are instant other times not, sometimes people just process what is written, its all good. Sometimes we may ask the very same question/s you or anyone may put forward and it takes time to answer some things because we are still looking for answers too but share our journey when we can with resolutions we have found personally.
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