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16, gay male, Pentecostal/Charismatic background

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gettingthere
 
Joined in 2008
November 17, 2008, 22:57

Hey guys. Got another update for you.


This all happened just yesterday. My dad was looking through the Internet history on the computer in my mom’s ministry office and he found a lot of stuff on there. All the children got confronted for different stuff, but that’s not the important part. The important part is when my dad and I had to have another talk about my visiting gay Christian websites. My dad had told me before that I wasn’t allowed to visit them. I followed it for a while, but then I decided that rule was too stupid for me to follow, so I decided to just read them anyway. Was I justified in doing that? I don’t know, but either way, I still decided to ignore his ban on gay supportive websites. I didn’t really get in trouble for that part actually. He was more concerned about the actual content of the gay Christian websites. He believes quite adamantly that being gay is a sin. But anyway, we had a conversation about it. Which is great! It’s like the doors of communication were burst open. You see, I’d spent the last few weeks avoiding talking to him about this, but we started talking yesterday, so that’s really promising. The conversation actually went pretty well and I would say we are actually talking on a very diplomatic level. It’s going pretty well actually.


Anyway, my dad said that he loves me, but he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. I would say he’s prejudiced. He is making a little bit of progress but he still has a lot of doubts and he seems resistant to listen to people who argue in support of gay Christians. He even threw in a remark about how there were no Pentecostal, Charismatic gay ministers and then I said, “No. Anthony Venn-Brown.” Yes. 🙂 So thank you AVB for all you do.


My dad and my teacher both made the same remark about how I had to open my mind upon to the anti-gay position. I’m naturally open-minded, so they really didn’t have to tell me to do that. I actually do listen and consider what other people say. It’s just that I already know what I believe and I already know why I believe it. I studied this for a long time. I told my dad there is no reason he should be ignorant on gay issues with me as his son because any question he has I can answer or get in contact with someone else who can answer it. If the enemy is ignorance, it’s standing under a massive grand piano.


My dad and my teacher told me to listen to the other side as much as I listen to my own side, which is absolute hypocrisy, because neither of them is actively listening to my side so why should they then expect me to actively listen to them either? I would say it is a fair rule if my dad would follow it up by saying that he would also look up information, but he refuses to do so. Yet, I’m apparently obligated to look up arguments (which I’m already familiar with) in support of his side. Whatever. The amazing thing is that having studied so much, I’ve actually, several times, been able to start with a total blank slate and then come to the conclusion that homosexuality is not sin. It is in fact SO EASY TO DO and so OBVIOUS to me, that I sometimes struggle to understand why other people have difficulty believing it. But I’m not helping anybody by being impatient, so I try my best to help them understand. However, there is a benefit to this. It does help strengthen your beliefs in a way to examine them and in fact, I did come up with some new questions. I’m not really afraid of questions, because I know that a good answer can help your beliefs grow even stronger. So I guess you can say I’m making the best of the situation.


On Sunday night, my dad preached on angels and totally botched the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Before, I would’ve just cowered and privately seethed about it, but I knew that communication was open, so afterwards, at home, I went up to him and I said, “Dad, your interpretation of Sodom and Gomorrah… sucked.” And then I explained to him that since God was going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah BEFORE the angels came, the actions of the men after the angels came could not possibly have been the cause of God’s punishment on the city. And then he said, well, it was just one of the sins. And then I said of the approximately 80 times Sodom is mentioned in the Bible never is it mentioned in conjunction with homosexuality. I then said that Sodom and Gomorrah does not condemn homosexuality anymore than Amnon and Tamar or David and Bathsheba would condemn heterosexuality. So yeah, we’ll see what happens in the long run. I’m just glad that I can finally talk and the ironic thing is that it happened after I decided that I wasn’t going to focus on my homosexuality so much. I guess when I stopped obsessing over how I could solve my problems, God kind of stepped in and set that up. 🙂 Thank you guys for all your support and prayers, it’s really helping.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
November 18, 2008, 01:53

Its great that you have done your homework gettingthere.


whilst I certainly would not encourage you to be disobedient to you parents…..the knowledge you’ve gained has certainly given you a confidence.


When Koorong banned my book…….I went there and bought 6 books from there. I’d never really read anything from the other side before then. I was horrified by the misinformation, stereotyping and alarmist sensationalism. I was reminded of what the bible says about bearing false witness against your nieghbour.


When I began reading more myself in 1998 on the subject……I was quite embarrassed to find out exactly how ignorant I was about passages such as Sodom and Gommorah…….I’d just assumed like everyone else that God destroyed the cities because it was full of homo’s…….its amazing how the myth has been developed and accepted as truth for too many.



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
November 18, 2008, 07:26

I was quite embarrassed to find out exactly how ignorant I was about passages such as Sodom and Gommorah


gees same here, I believed Sodom was the male side and Gomorrah the female. 🙄 😯 😳 how ridiculous.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
November 18, 2008, 14:19

LMAO


I used to think all cats were females and all dogs were males


…..is that the same thing. 😳



iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
November 19, 2008, 22:05

I used to think all cats were females and all dogs were males


Hmmm, one could imagine all sorts of frankenstein-ish breeding possibilities here 😆 😆



gettingthere
 
Joined in 2008
December 15, 2008, 01:14

Hey guys, I think I need to post this here. I’m starting to get really concerned about the way I’ve been thinking and acting lately and I’m starting to think I need some serious counseling. I don’t really know what to do. I feel alone and I hate it, but at the same time, I don’t know who I can trust out there with my aloneness. I don’t trust anybody in my immediate community and I feel like I’ve isolated myself and now I just want to get out of here really badly. I’ve been considering a lot of things like getting expelled on purpose or running away or whatever like that, and I always tell myself that those things are wrong and won’t solve anything, but the fact that those thoughts are coming at all are making me concerned that if I don’t do something soon it might get much worse. I don’t really know what to do exactly. I’m starting to feel like I’m not really improving. I have a bad time, but then I only cover over it and it never gets solved, so the exact same problem just resurfaces later. I feel like I need an opportunity to talk things through and believe me, there is a lot of stuff to talk through. I just feel kind of fragmented right now and I need to start working towards fixing things. 🙁



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
December 15, 2008, 09:32

hi Gettingthere…..we have missed your wonderful posts.


I’m so sorry to hear about he internal trouble you are going through atm. Knowing more about your situation than most on this forum I can certainly understand your dilemma.


Please don’t do anything rash that will impact your relationship with your family or education. Knowing you the way I do I actually don’t think you will. You are too sensible a young man. But of course these thoughts may still persist for some time till there is resolution. Often in life we have to live with some ambiguities.


we are not here to advise you or tell you what you ‘should’ do but maybe we could talk about some of the issues one by one and see if we can offer some insights or suggestions that might help.


they maybe too personal but if you can share them here at least you will feel like someone is listening and I’m sure many of us have has similar experiences. this is of course one of the reasons why we created the forum.


The teenage years can be turbulent anyway. throw into that a Christian belief system and being gay certainly can add to the turmoil.


How can we help?



bec_oz
 
Joined in 2006
December 15, 2008, 18:09

Hey mate, wondering how you are going.


I second Anthony in if there is anything we can do to help, just say the word.


Bec



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
December 15, 2008, 19:15

Absolutely, if we can be of any help or you just want to air on here go for it, things will settle down and you will be ok even if it doesnt seem like it, we are behind you and beside you.



Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
December 15, 2008, 20:16

Thinking of you, gettingthere. Hope you’re doing okay.


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