Hi Ammi!

I’m so glad that you found such an amazing organization as freedom2b, where you truly are free to be whoever you were created to be. Sometimes though I guess that’s part of the problem isn’t it, trying to figure out exactly who we are.

As LGBT individuals, coming from every denomination, we all had to figure that out, where we asked ourselves if we could possibly be LGBT? From what I’ve seen and experienced, that happens at different ages for everyone and I’ve had family members only understand and/or accept themselves as LGBT in their late 60s. As one quote I once heard says, “It’s not about the breathes that we’ve taken or yet to take, but the moments that take our breathe away” and I’m sure and confident that you’ll have many, many of those moments to come!

I know personally the grip of depression and anxiety and a lot of that for me did come from not being sure of who I was sexually and when I did realize, not wanting to accept it and come out and even come before God and say, “I know you knew along but now I’m ready to accept who YOU made me to be. Now let me be the best man that I could be, irregardless of sexual orientation”. Trust me that this depression and anxiety will not last forever and the sun is always shining just right above the clouds! 😉 Let’s just get those clouds cleared up.

When it comes to faith, I think you’ll realize after some research and listening/meditation that God isn’t there to beat you up about the feelings and desires that are placed in you rather God is concerned about your happiness and that you are enjoying the experience that we’ve been blessed to have here on earth. As for your family, friends, etc. I have to say this – if they can’t accept you for who you truly are, they aren’t true friends or family at all. I used that quote once early in my coming out process and I think it’s stuck and it’s proven right, time and time again. As I tell everyone close to me, I’m going to love you and do life with you, irregardless of whatever you do! I expect the same AND THAT my love, is the true spirit of Jesus; L.O.V.E.

Of course experimenting now, thinking of being with a female, maybe even with a male, scares you but I truly think if that’s something you believe you want – you should run after that but do prepare for a shut down or a wise crack or disapproval, etc. – it happens to EVERYONE, straight or LGBT, but it’s should not stop you from trying! I just want you to know that if it does, shake it off, pick yourself up and tell yourself that you are a daughter of God and made beautiful and perfectly and somewhere, there is someone who will appreciate and love that beauty.

You have a fantastic support family here at freedom2b and I encourage you to check out the rest of this site and some other fantastic sites on the web for curious and LGBT Christian individuals.

Know that God loves you more than any human being could ever and can touch your heart like no one ever could and God sees your heart and has seen it all along and knows every issue you face.

Be blessed hun, you are LOVED immensely from Canada. xx

Hi Ammi,

Thank you for sharing your story with us – with all its ups and downs, and for touching us with your honesty, and like others, I just wanted to give you a hug. 🙂

It always takes courage to tell your story, and I really understood all the feelings that you have experienced since your first post.

Ammi said:

I have gone from shock that I actually wrote something on a gay support website – to an awareness that this has been something I’ve needed to talk openly about for a long time – and back again to the shock and fear.

I really hope that you find the peace in yourself that you deserve and I am so pleased that you are free to talk more and more about your feelings and concerns with your counsellor. 🙂

Hi ammi,

Welcome to your/our safe community here at freedom2b[e].

It’s good to know that you have supports already in place. As others have mentioned above it’s always better to talk about our feelings than not to at all.

Wishing you all the best in your journey. Keep us updated.

Hi Ammi!

I’m so glad that you found such an amazing organization as freedom2b, where you truly are free to be whoever you were created to be. Sometimes though I guess that’s part of the problem isn’t it, trying to figure out exactly who we are.

As LGBT individuals, coming from every denomination, we all had to figure that out, where we asked ourselves if we could possibly be LGBT? From what I’ve seen and experienced, that happens at different ages for everyone and I’ve had family members only understand and/or accept themselves as LGBT in their late 60s. As one quote I once heard says, “It’s not about the breathes that we’ve taken or yet to take, but the moments that take our breathe away” and I’m sure and confident that you’ll have many, many of those moments to come!

I know personally the grip of depression and anxiety and a lot of that for me did come from not being sure of who I was sexually and when I did realize, not wanting to accept it and come out and even come before God and say, “I know you knew along but now I’m ready to accept who YOU made me to be. Now let me be the best man that I could be, irregardless of sexual orientation”. Trust me that this depression and anxiety will not last forever and the sun is always shining just right above the clouds! 😉 Let’s just get those clouds cleared up.

When it comes to faith, I think you’ll realize after some research and listening/meditation that God isn’t there to beat you up about the feelings and desires that are placed in you rather God is concerned about your happiness and that you are enjoying the experience that we’ve been blessed to have here on earth. As for your family, friends, etc. I have to say this – if they can’t accept you for who you truly are, they aren’t true friends or family at all. I used that quote once early in my coming out process and I think it’s stuck and it’s proven right, time and time again. As I tell everyone close to me, I’m going to love you and do life with you, irregardless of whatever you do! I expect the same AND THAT my love, is the true spirit of Jesus; L.O.V.E.

Of course experimenting now, thinking of being with a female, maybe even with a male, scares you but I truly think if that’s something you believe you want – you should run after that but do prepare for a shut down or a wise crack or disapproval, etc. – it happens to EVERYONE, straight or LGBT, but it’s should not stop you from trying! I just want you to know that if it does, shake it off, pick yourself up and tell yourself that you are a daughter of God and made beautiful and perfectly and somewhere, there is someone who will appreciate and love that beauty.

You have a fantastic support family here at freedom2b and I encourage you to check out the rest of this site and some other fantastic sites on the web for curious and LGBT Christian individuals.

Know that God loves you more than any human being could ever and can touch your heart like no one ever could and God sees your heart and has seen it all along and knows every issue you face.

Be blessed hun, you are LOVED immensely from Canada. xx

Excellent post ShaneO…….hope we hear more from you who ever you are.

I saw my counsellor today – there are other things that I needed to work with her on – so we didn’t spend a lot of time talking about what I have shared here in the past 3 days. But I told her the bones of the story – and how afraid I am of knowing what is true about my sexuality.

She made the comment that maybe I am afraid of knowing about my sexuality at all – and that really resonated with me. I have been so repressed sexually most of my life – that it is little wonder that I don’t even know who I am attracted to.

I don’t know where to go from here – but I guess that having at least started to explore the question in this forum, it is a step in the right direction.

I guess the confusion will be around for a while…..

ammi