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Time for humour - do you have a funny story, joke,quote etc?

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magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
June 18, 2009, 07:18

ohhhhh Magz 😆 I did try to find an Alice and Eve but nooooo gooooo 🙁 😥 😉



Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
June 18, 2009, 13:18

Drat! Someone will just have to write one! 😆



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 19, 2009, 08:31

you know we love the ladies here….our sisters. 😀



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
October 6, 2009, 07:55

A successful rancher died and left everything to

his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and

determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about

ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch

hand.


Two cowboys applied for the job.

One was gay and the other a drunk.


She thought

long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she

decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have

him around the house than the drunk.


He proved to be a

hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot

about ranching.


For weeks, the two of them worked, and

the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the

rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, ‘You have done a really

good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town

and kick up your heels.’ The hired hand readily agreed and went

into town one Saturday night…


One o’clock came,

however, and he didn’t return. Two o’clock and no hired

hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon

entering the room, he found the rancher’s wido w sitting by the

fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She

quietly called him over to her.


‘Unbutton my

blouse and take it off, she said.. Trembling, he did

as she directed. ‘Now take off my boots.’ He did as

she asked, ever so slowly.


‘Now take off my

socks.’ He removed each gently and placed them neatly by

her boots.


‘Now take off my skirt.’ He slowly

unbuttoned it, constantly

watching her eyes in the fire

light.


‘Now take off my bra.’ Again, with trembling

hands, he did as he was told and dropped it

to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, ‘If you ever

wear my clothes into town again, you’re

fired.’


😆 😆


😆 😆 😆 😆



Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
October 6, 2009, 13:16

😆 😆 😆



iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
October 6, 2009, 21:52

Love it 😆 😆 😆



Shane Cathcart
Event Coordinator
Joined in 2009
October 9, 2009, 08:29

I was recently dating someone, and went on a couple of dates with him before I decided I didn’t want a relationship, and told him so half way through our third date together. Was then made to feel I’d wasted his time. The dating world is very scary.



Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
April 19, 2010, 17:33

These are kind of on the lame side of funny, but I thought they were cute nonetheless.


A guy walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone. He says, “Can I buy you a drink?”


She replies, “Yes, but it won’t do you any good.”


Later he asks, “May I buy you another drink?” “Yes,” she responds, “but it won’t do you any good.”


After a few drinks, he decides to ask her to his apartment. Again, she replies, “Yes, but it won’t do you any good.”


In his apartment he turns to her and says, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I want you for my wife.”


She replies, “Ohhhhh, THAT’S a different story!! Bring her on out!!!”


A young woman, in the course of her college life, came to terms with her homosexuality and decided to come out of the closet.


Her plan was to tell her mother first so on her next home visit she went to the kitchen, where her mother was busying herself stirring stew with a wooden spoon. Rather nervously, she explained to her that she had realised she was gay.


Without looking up from her stew, her mother said, “You mean, lesbian?”


“Well… yes.”


Still without looking up: “Does that mean lick women down below?”


Caught off guard, the young woman eventually managed to stammer an

embarrassed affirmative whereupon her mother turned to her and,

brandishing the wooden spoon threateningly under her nose, snapped:

“Don’t you *EVER* complain about my cooking again!”



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 22, 2010, 00:06

haven’t heard either of those….hehe



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
May 23, 2010, 08:42

😀 😀 😀 😀 Sandy now theyre funny………….I’ll never complain about mums cooking again!!!!!!!!


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