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Time for humour - do you have a funny story, joke,quote etc?

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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
March 13, 2008, 00:22

thought it would be good to balance out some of this intensity with some posts that will make us laugh. Here is my contribution. Try and keep it relevant if you can to our situations and background……..but dont let that stop you from contributing.


Things That Would Be Different If The 12 Disciples Were Gay


1. The “Sermon on the Mount” would be a musical.

2. Jesus would never wear white after Labour Day.

3. Priests would get married… wait a minute… never mind.

4. The Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bruce.

5. Mary’s hair would be FLAWLESS.

6. The Temple would not have been cleansed of money changers, just re-decorated.

7. The water at the Wedding Feast of Canaan would have turned into dry martinis with just a splash of Curacao for colour.

8. The Triumphal Entry just screams for a drag number.

9. Replace the “Beatitudes” with “Fabulous are they…”

10. The Last Supper would have been a brunch.



Desperate4Truth
 
Joined in 2008
March 13, 2008, 14:49

L!!!M!!!A!!!O!!!!


Oh!!, my sides hurt. Those are hilarious!!



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
March 13, 2008, 23:54

well that is two of us with a sense of humour



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
March 14, 2008, 09:00

OMG the triumphal entry 😆 😆 😆 Can just see it.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
March 14, 2008, 11:27

ok……here is another one


Four men are at a restaurant talking about their sons and their

accomplishments. One man excuses himself to go to the toilet and

the other three continue talking.

The first man says “I was worried that my son was gonna be a loser

because he started out washing cars for a living, but then he got a break,

they made him a salesman and he has just sold so many cars that he bought

the dealership. In fact, he’s so successful that he just gave his best friend

a new Mercedes for his birthday.”


The second man said, “I was worried about my son too because he

started out raking leaves for a real estate agent. Turns out he got a break,

they made him a commissioned salesman and eventually he bought the real

estate firm. In fact, he is so successful that he just gave his best friend a

new house for his birthday.”


The third man said, “Yeah, I hear you. My son started out sweeping

floors in a brokerage firm. He got a break too – they made him a broker and

now he owns the brokerage firm. In fact, he is so rich that he just gave

his best friend $1 million in stock for his birthday”


The fourth man came back from the toilet, and the first three explain

that they are telling stories about their sons, so he says “Well,

I’m embarrassed to admit that my son is a major disappointment. He

started out as a hairdresser and is still a hairdresser after 15 years.

In fact I just found out he is gay and has several boyfriends. But I

try to look on the bright side – his boyfriends have just given him a new

Mercedes, a new house and $1 million in stock for his birthday.”



Desperate4Truth
 
Joined in 2008
March 14, 2008, 12:43

LOL!!!! 😮 😮 😆 😆 😆



ProdigalSon
 
Joined in 2008
March 14, 2008, 13:18

Etiquette Tips For The Gay Male Wedding


1. On the day of a gay wedding, it’s bad luck for the two grooms to see each other at the gym.


2. Superstition suggests that for good luck the couple should have something bold, something flirty, something trashy, something dirty.


3. It’s customary at gay and lesbian nuptials for the parents to have an open bar during the ceremony.


4. Gay wedding tradition dictates that both grooms refrain from eating wedding cake because it’s all carbs.


5. It’s considered bad luck for either of the grooms to have dated the priest.


6. During the first dance, it’s considered unlucky to use glow sticks, flags, whistles or handheld lasers.


7. For good luck at the union of a drag queen, the bouquet is always thrown in the face of a hated rival.


8. The father of the Bottom pays for everything!



Desperate4Truth
 
Joined in 2008
March 14, 2008, 14:01

ROFL!!!! @ 7. For good luck at the union of a drag queen, the bouquet is always thrown in the face of a hated rival. 😆 😆 😆


YOU THROW THAT BOUQUET MARY!!!!!



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
March 14, 2008, 15:12

😆 😆 bouquet and the stilletos with it 😆



Dove Snuggler
 
Joined in 2007
March 15, 2008, 01:07

Hi Prodigal Son


(Joe, is it?)


“It’s considered bad luck for either of the grooms to have dated the priest.”


Joe, you don’t date a priest. You just say “Yes, Father…”


Kit


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