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Time for humour - do you have a funny story, joke,quote etc?

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magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
October 12, 2008, 19:18

A point of view


Barbara Walters of Television’s 20/20 did a story on

gender roles in Kabul , Afghanistan several years before the Afghan

conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind

their husbands.


She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind

their husbands. From Miss Walters’ vantage point, despite the overthrow

of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even

further back behind their husbands, and are happy to maintain the old

custom.


Miss Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, ‘Why do you

now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to

change?’


The woman looked Miss Walters straight in the eyes, and without

hesitation said,


‘Land Mines’. 8)

gettingthere
 
Joined in 2008
October 12, 2008, 21:55

There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey.


The bartender asks, “What’s the matter?”


The man says, “I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend.”


The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey.


The bartenders asks, “What’s wrong this time?”


The man says, “I found out that my son is gay.”


The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey.


Then the bartender asks, “Doesn’t anyone in your family like women?”


The man looks up and says, “Apparently my wife does.”

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
October 13, 2008, 07:51

Haaaaaaaaa 😆 😆


My Dad once told me he too was a lesbian like me 😯 the dag 😆 😆 he’s kindve funny like that 8)

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
December 8, 2008, 07:54

And then the fight started:


My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.


She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’


I said, ‘Dust.’


And then the fight started…

======================================================================


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.


She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.’


I bought her new bath scales.


And then the fight started…

====================================================================


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive….


so, I took her to a gas station…


And then the fight started….

====================================================================


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady,


swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.


My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’


‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago,


and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’


‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’


And then the fight started…

===========================================================


I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road


and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes


you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?


Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it… he was a DWARF!!!


He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!’


So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’


And then the fight started…

========================================================================================


When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.


But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf


Always something more important to me.


Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day,


I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.


I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out


again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, ‘When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.’


The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.



😆 😆 😉

Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
December 9, 2008, 10:58

A man is finally rescued after 40 years on a remote, deserted island. As the rescue helicopter takes off, the pilot points to a sprawling stone mansion along the shoreline.


“What is that building?” the pilot asks.


“That’s my home,” the man replies.


Pointing to a large building with spires, the Pilot asks “And what’s that one?”


“That’s my church,” says the man.


They fly a little higher, the the pilot spots another cathedral like edifice. “Hold on,” he says. “What’s that one?”


“That’s the church I used to belong to,” says the man.

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
December 10, 2008, 16:50

I Dont get it 😯 😳

Myfanwe
 
Joined in 2007
December 10, 2008, 23:12

I Dont get it 😯 😳


LOL I think it is a play on the fact that some people will find something to be offended about in any church, and leave, even if they’re the only member.

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
December 11, 2008, 01:18

very cryptic joke mazdragon 😆 😆 😆

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
December 11, 2008, 08:11

Ohhhh LOL 😆 😆 I feel like the blonde in Anthonys youtube funny with the big boobs covering her chips 🙄


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuIZ0sin80c

gettingthere
 
Joined in 2008
December 16, 2008, 19:42

One of my favorite Onion articles. 🙂


New Bill Would Defend Marriage From Sharks

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_bill_would_defend_marriage
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