Hi Mother Hen
thanks, Merry Christmas to you and all the team here on freedom2b 🙂
I'm okay, still have my ups and downs, I know that God loves me, I know He accepts me as I am, forgives me, embraces me and sent His one and only Son to die for me. But sometimes, it just feels like that not enough. I guess, Im just greedy 🙁 Or perhaps, part of me doesn't really believe that God loves me, forgives me, accepts me … Or maybe, I'm just craving a little more love and acceptance … maybe I haven't totally accepted or resolved my sexuality and faith issues. Only God knows well, if I am honest with myself, I know, but acknowledging it and dealing with it, will only open yet another can of unwanted worms. A flood of unwanted emotions and set me up for further emotional torment. And I'm not ready for that, but will I ever be ready? that's another question. I do complicate my life don't I?
Things are okay with Tom, they haven't changed all that much although, he hasn't asked me about sponsoring him for a while now, he has been busy with work and besides, its coming to the end of the year, so there is nothing that can be done anyway …
I did speak to a lawyer, I may have told you already, sorry if I am repeating myself, basically she said, she cant advice me until she can see the conditions of Tom's passport and she would need to ensure that he has not overstayed his visa and is not illegally here or that he is not working illegally …. and seeing how I haven't been able to get hold of his visa, nothing has changed. Sadly, I am now seriously questioning his motives and whether he truly love me, whether he is here legally or not, I did ask to see his passport or for him to provide it to the immigration lawyer I spoke to or to me, in order to pass it on. Initially, he told me that he "lost it" then thinks he left it at his "sisters" place, and before you say anything, no she is not his actual sister, just as his "uncle" is not his actual uncle, many Chinese & other Asian cultures refer to older, and close, non-family members as "uncle" or "brother" or "sister" out of respect or something like that, so that's the case with Tom. His "uncle" is unrelated, just as his sister is. Kind of weird if you ask me, but then again, I guess we sometimes use the word brother when referring to close friends. So in short, things are pretty much the same apart from being a little less stressful.
But of course, I have complicated my life in that I have since met a nice Indonesian guy, we have become friends and it now appears that he is hinting at the possibility of him and I becoming more than friends … just like Tom he is not a permanent resident here. Is it just me, or is there a pattern here? Am I so gullible & is it so obvious, that every, Tom, Dick and Harry who comes here on a holiday or to study or whatever comes to the conclusion that I am their ticket to freedom, their ticket to stay here permanently ? Or am I just "too nice" and possibly, too stupid?
Does that answer your question Mother Hen?
Sorry I write too much.
Brusnki
|
