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just a couple of questions (is it really all a lie?)

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Suzee
 
Joined in 2011
August 25, 2011, 11:16

Brunski…it pains me to think of you in such anguish.


I can’t even imagine the struggles you’re faced with, wondering if God really accepts you or hates you.

Is being gay sinful or not?


It must be extremely stressful for you.


I hope and pray you will find the answers, and discover the truth for yourself.

We want to continue supporting you and loving you. I only wish I could make it easier for you.


It’d be great if you could meet with some other gay christians, for support and encouragement. I hope this is possible.

Suzee

Brunski
 
Joined in 2005
August 25, 2011, 18:17

Thanks Anthony yeah, I have been isolated at least when it comes to the whole gay thing. And yes, I (we) will get this sorted eventually! Just hope its sorted before I’m 90 yrs old with no one to love or to love me or worse, before I end up in a hospital bed after I’ve stressed so much that I have attempted to overdose on my Epilepsy medications again! *&^%$ hell!

oops :~



Brunski
 
Joined in 2005
August 25, 2011, 18:35

Thanks Suzee,


yes its agonizing! Most of the times I can just shut it out, ignore it and just live a “double life” or simply a “not being true to myself life” and do and say all the things a Christian is meant to do and say in a straight /traditional orientated church, such as the one I attend.

But when your in love (even if its not “genuine love and perhaps, verging more on the sexual side of things) it bloody hard!

I want to be able to have intimacy with and love my “hidden boyfriend” without feeling guilty or a shamed the moment he walks out the door. Or the moment I pick up my Bible (which I rarely do these days, which I probably half the problem). I dont want to sit in Church listen to a sermon on sin & hear everything being said as if its directed at me. And then ask, is this the Holy Spirit convicting me of my sin? Am I feeling guilty because I’m a homosexual and this is Gods way of telling me to repent and surrender to Him and turn away from my homosexual SIN?


damn it! the floodgates are opened again, sorry … need to get a tissue :((



Suzee
 
Joined in 2011
August 25, 2011, 19:17

Oh Brunski, I just want to hug you honey. 🙁

Inside I’m thinking “If only he knew that he’s not a sinner in God’s eyes. That all the guilt he feels doesn’t come from the Holy Spirit. The enemy of our souls brings oppression and shame. Jesus never once did that. When they brought to him a woman caught in adultery, he refused to condemn her even thought the law allowed him to. Please know that feelings of guilt and shame don’t come from our loving Father…ever.”


Jesus is inclusive


His nature is love


His message is grace


His gift is freedom


His heart is for justice and equality…for all


Love and hugs to you, one who God loves so dearly. 🙂 Suzee

Suzee
 
Joined in 2011
August 25, 2011, 19:39

Also – don’t go to a church where they preach about sin…go somewhere affirming and inclusive. Get with other LGBT christians and get a redeemed perspective.


I honestly believe in you Brunski. I believe you will get through this and will some day embrace your gayness, and be free to love another man.


I love you my brother 🙂



Brunski
 
Joined in 2005
August 26, 2011, 12:08

hehehe thanks Suzee, I can feel the love 😉


Quote Inside I’m thinking “If only he knew that he’s not a sinner in God’s eyes Well, cant really say I agree with that, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God Rom 3:23 I am very much a sinner in God’s eyes, as well as all of us.

But I do understand that Jesus died for us that we may be set free from the bondage of sin, praise be to God! And that through Him and only Him, we may know true forgiveness when we confess our sins. For he is just and faithful to forgive us our sins 🙂


I know that God loves me ,he loves the sinner (me & you) but not the sin.


I was reading something in my daily devotional Rom 1:18 “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness … ”


God’s wrath is directed at all the “godless” or “ungodly” in another translation, and all the “wickedness of people” or “the unrighteousness of people” perhaps, I and all of us here are merely “suppressing the truth by our wickedness and our unrighteousness” or by our sinful acts or our unnatural nature (homosexuality and homosexual behaviour)


The devotional goes on to say “Today, we should apply this more to the many who are nominally Christians but suppress Christian truth in unrighteousness and unrighteous and sinful living. A purely superficial profession of Christianity is not sufficient. By means of conversion to God and faith in Jesus Christ a radical change in the way of life of so called Christian’s must come about otherwise the “wrath of God abides on them”


Or as a pastor once told me, a surrendered life to Christ brings forth a new life, for we are a new creation, old is gone and the new has come. He who is a homosexual, becomes a new creation upon true acceptance and surrender to God. And that new nature is one that is pleasing to God. Homosexuality gives way to a God honouring and faithful life in Christ. A life that no longer abides in sinful living”


“In other words, if we are truly born again, our old sinful (homosexual nature) is crucified at the cross and in its place comes a new nature (some would say a heterosexual nature) if not, we are holding on to sin, we have not truly surrendered our lives over to Christ and we choose to live a life that is displeasing to God, a life of sin”

“The devil, the enemy of our soul has blinded us if we continue to live a life of homosexual perversion and sin, no matter how “natural” or how “good it feels” no matter how “in love” we feel. Homosexual behaviour is abhorrent to God. But rest assured, he who is a homosexual will not inherit the kingdom of God, but the homosexual who accepts Christ though, he or she was a homosexual prior to conversion, he or she is now a new creation, he has been washed, sanctified and justified and is no longer a slave to the sin of homosexuality. The very scriptures prove that change is possible, 1Corinthians 6:10-11 prove this “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God”. Hence, upon conversion, the homosexual is no longer what he once was “And that Is what some of you WERE” … He went on to say.

Brunski
 
Joined in 2005
August 26, 2011, 12:23

Quote “Also – don’t go to a church where they preach about sin…go somewhere affirming and inclusive. Get with other LGBT christians and get a redeemed perspective”. Hello! a church that does not preach sin is not a true Bible believing Church. Jesus spoke about sin and His church needs to do the same.


Go somewhere affirming and inclusive, somewhere that accepts homosexuality you mean? But what God going to a “gay friendly” Church or a Church that accepts homosexuality as “natural” and “normal” if it (homosexuality) truly is a sin. What good would come from going to church that refuses to preach on sin? It may make us feel good, but it wont teach us or encourage us to move away from sin, to surrender to Christ and accept His grace and turn away from our sinful living. But I guess if homosexuality is natural, God honouring … then sure but if its not, then I would only be wasting my time and further enforcing the lie that homosexuality is wrong and sinful.


Just for the record, I did go to MCC here in Sydney many years ago, once and never went back!

A lesbian couple were baptising “their child” not through full immersion as is scriptural, but with a sprinkle of water on the child’s forehead, much like Catholicism. That turned me off, but what turned me off and prevented me from going back even more so, was the fact that NOT ONE of the congregation bothered to come and say hello! NOT ONE bothered to greet me! And as for the “Church pastor” well, he said a quick hello and good bye, as I walked out the door. But no actual welcome or encouragement to come back. Perhaps, I wasn’t “gay enough” perhaps, I didn’t have that “gay walk” that “gay voice” or those gay mannerisms, perhaps, I didn’t “look gay” … or maybe I just caught them on a “bad day” 😐



Brunski
 
Joined in 2005
August 26, 2011, 12:26

oops, that should read “But what good is going to a “gay friendly” Church or a Church that accepts homosexuality as “natural” and “normal” if it (homosexuality) truly is a sin”.


not “But what God going to a “gay friendly” Church or a Church that accepts homosexuality as “natural” and “normal” if it (homosexuality) truly is a sin”.


But I’m sure you understood 😉



Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
August 26, 2011, 15:58

Hi Brunski


You make a good point here about the bias that may be present in either type of church, whether gay friendly or not. Whatever the church’s position, this might skew the truth and be unhelpful in your search for whether homosexuality is right or not.


I guess you have to keep weighing up the different perspectives and give yourself the chance to hear ALL or as much of the different views that you can and then see what seems most accurate for you. Going to a gay friendly church is often a good thing to do in terms of having a positive experience and knowing God’s acceptance which you may not feel in a non accepting church. Acceptance and love are very important (and biblical) but at this stage of your questioning, they probably won’t answer your dilemma once and for all.


I guess there are no absolutes in life other than taxes and death. So you have to keep searching and know that it might take a while to find the truth but I believe you will get there.


Blessings,


Ann Maree

RaulG
 
Joined in 2010
August 27, 2011, 01:46

Also – don’t go to a church where they preach about sin…go somewhere affirming and inclusive.


Querido Suzee,


My dear hermana, I have two things:


A. Those are not mutually exclusive (ie: preaching about sin does not make a church less affirming and inclusive).


B. Awareness of sin is a major part of what it means to be a Christian. Both in understanding what we have done wrong (and how we atone) and how we recognize that we have been tresspassed by others (and how we forgive).


Yours in Christ,


Raul
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