Ben and Anthony are probably sick of me saying this but I am gunna say it again…
It has been an amazing month.
I am at the point where I KNOW God loves me for who I am. Having made me EXACTLY who I am… I am not happy about being gay (which I actually said out loud today 😀 ) but I am not depressed over it. Just very neutral about the whole thing. But I am now comfortable with this…
I have been speaking to Mom regularly and she sounds… different… Which is to be expected She is still more than happy to hold a conversation with me and still says “I love you” at the end of the phone call, which makes me feel that she is going to be ok…
I was in the city today… Met up with our ex-product specialist… She knows I have been having issues… She randomly said to me “Is this all about your sexuality?”. I was absolutely dumbfounded and just said “Yeah. Did you know”… She didn’t. It was a wild guess lol. Amazing person… So glad I still know her 🙂
I met up with Ben and Anthony again today. You guys are awesome…
Had a chat to Anthony and discussed that being in the closet is a lot like being in an interrogation room with a one way mirror… Looking into the mirror when you are in the interrogation room is a lot like being in the closet… You can only see your own issues. You can’t see past it. As far as you are concerned there is nothing else.
As soon as you come out and look through the observation room side, you know exactly what the people in the interrogation room are going through.
Someone told me that they knew what I was going through. No. They are straight. There is NO way you can know what the continuous internal struggle is like.
Anyhoo… As I mentioned to Ben… I am smiling. But it is no longer that horrible eternally happy facade. It is reflecting exactly what I feel inside =)
This adventure has introduced me to some wonderful friends… And that is exactly what I am calling this… An adventure.
Looking forward to the Freedom 2 b[e] youth event =D