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Shan - 19 year old country guy trying to make sense of things...

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N149
 
Joined in 2010
April 11, 2010, 03:22

Thanks Anthony 🙂


Im honestly not sure where to put the mention of denominations in… Would be interested in any suggestions of where to put it and suggested wording…


As for your other suggestions…


1… Yes… Agreed. Edited and briefly mentioned. I don’t want to put too much in there as I think the DVD should explain a fair bit.


2. Agreed. Put in :).


3. Nope. Its staying there. She knows of one instance… I do think it needs to stay there. I think it further illustrates that I was desperate to find a solution.


Again… Thanks for your help! 🙂


~S~

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 11, 2010, 13:16

Here is where you could put in the mention of the denomination. Gives her a point to relate to and helps her realise there are others like yourselves.


I have found immense support from this group and have found a few people to talk to who share similar stories, the majority from a Christian perspective and many from the (mention the denomination eg Baptist, Assemblies of God. here)


3. Yes I think it is good for your mum to know. I guess I’m suggesting a rewording. Here is what I would suggest. Once again…..only a suggestion….its your letter….your mum…..your way of communicating. my reason for suggesting this change is that there is already quite a bit in your letter which could shock her and she will have to deal with…..so there might be a better way to let her know just how difficult it has been for you with out shocking her. Below is my suggestion.


I have struggled with numerous things for the past 8 years. As you know, I have been so deeply unhappy that I attempted to take my life. What you don’t know is the further struggles I’ve gone through alone which has basically driven by the feeling that no one would really understand what I was going through and having to face. I am wanting to be completely open and honest with you so we can talk more about that later.

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
April 11, 2010, 18:36

Excellent job Shan and great suggestions from everyone. 🙂


Re the suicidal stuff, I understand that it’s important for you to convey how desperate you’ve felt..And I think that’s a good point although there are various ways to get that message across. I rather like avb’s idea..Going on from that, maybe something like: “I have struggled with numerous things for the past 8 years. As you know, I was so deeply unhappy that I attempted to take my own life. What you don’t know is the further struggles I’ve gone through alone, driven by the feeling that no one would understand. I now want to be completely open and honest with you and welcome the opportunity to perhaps talk more about those difficult times later.”


I’ve taken a few words out of avb’s suggestion. Up to you though..


What do you think? 🙂



N149
 
Joined in 2010
April 11, 2010, 21:04

Ann & Anthony…


Yeah I do agree. I have taken info from both of you and kinda come up with another version…


Thoughts?


Thanks so much 😀


S

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
April 11, 2010, 21:38

Did you put the version you refer to somewhere else?

N149
 
Joined in 2010
April 11, 2010, 22:09

Ann Marie,


The new version is on page two… The original I posted. I have just been continuously re-editing it 🙂


Shan

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 11, 2010, 22:51

looks good Shan…..most important thing though is are you happy with it. Any parts you dont feel comfortable with or would like to tidy up. As you say it is probably the most important letter you will ever write to your Mum.


What has happened with quite a number in F2B who have come out to their parents……….the negative reaction they feared and had spent so much time worrying over…….never actually happened. I hope and pray this is your experience as well.


Certainly writing a thoughtful and heartfelt letter like you’ve done so well here creates an opportunity for better outcomes.

N149
 
Joined in 2010
April 11, 2010, 23:32

Thanks 🙂


I am actually starting to become quite happy with it… Which is really good… Considering I started this as something that I was totally dreading.


I really do appreciate the support.


I am still not sure how she will take it. Still planning on the worst. That way if the worst doesn’t happen it is pleasant.


I plan on this week starting to talk to certain people I can trust and who Mom will be able to talk to…


This week is gunna be interesting….


S

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 11, 2010, 23:43

thats good Shan………another thing to remember is that when we come out to those who are close to us to remember if they find it difficult to accept initially that it took us some time to come to terms with……..and it doesn’t hurt to give them time as well. Hopefully they will get there quicker than we did…..hehe.

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
April 11, 2010, 23:54

Looking great, Shan. Found a typo in the 6th para down that starts with: “I have found an Australian forum..” You have written “any many Pentecostal” – I assume you either meant to delete the ‘any’ or put ‘and’?


Also, just wondering where this section runs straight into “Mum I am gay” whether this disclosure should be the start of a new para?? I could be wrong but I sort of skipped over it then realised what you’d written. I’m not sure though..


Otherwise I like the changes you’ve made better than our suggestions. Go Shan!! 🙂


Blessings,


Ann Maree


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