Shan - 19 year old country guy trying to make sense of things...

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Joined in 2009
March 25, 2010, 13:15

Hi Shan,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are actually great at this sort of thing- you’ve shared, you’ve opened the door, and you’re changed forever.

In evangelical terms, you might say ‘God met me at the hour of my greatest need’ and I am so glad he did!

Many of us share similar backgrounds and similar stories that are variations on a theme; I can relate to a lot of what you have written- the despair, the longing for wholeness. I too was affected by what Ben wrote- I was in tears too, but over time God used those words to speak to me- have a look at my story ‘outed, rejected but moving forward”

I look forward to interacting with you- even if it’s only on this website.



Joined in 2008
March 26, 2010, 12:08

Hey Shan! So happy that you found us here. God is awesome, isn’t he?

I’m 18 years old. We should totally connect! I’ll send you my name on Facebook so you can add me. Since we’re about the same age and have some similar experiences, I’d love to talk with you. I also happen to have a connection to a young gay Christian guy in Sydney who I think you’d enjoy talking with too. Looking forward to talking more with you. πŸ™‚

I too have battled suicide, although I never attempted it. I struggled with constant suicidal thoughts from year 7 to year 11. Even though I had already accepted myself by Year 9 & 10, I still wanted to kill myself in order to get other people to notice how badly I had been hurting. Thankfully God set me free and taught me that suicide is never the answer! I believe that God preserved my life through those years and judging by your story, I’d say he did the same with you. Listen – God knew what he was doing when he determined you would not die when you attempted suicide. He was preserving your life because he has greater plan for you than you even have for yourself! That’s the kind of God we have, Shan. πŸ™‚ So grateful that you are ALIVE and I hope you realize what a great future you have ahead of you!

I also battled homophobia (internalized or from others) and self-loathing. But eventually, I came to believe God loves me as I am and I very slowly learned how to accept myself. I came out to my parents at 15. It was very rough, but God pulled me through all the hard times. Sometimes I wished I had friends who I could be open with to discuss how difficult things truly were for me, but I had none. Now though, God has (I believe, supernaturally) arranged things that have led me to finding some of the best gay Christian guy friends I could’ve ever asked for. We talk online about things that are important and if ever I have a problem, not even about homosexuality, but just any kind of problem, I know I can talk to one of them about it. They are a treasure, each one of them. πŸ™‚ Since I know how important friends are and how life-changing they can be, I hope you’d give me the opportunity to be one of yours. I believe you will really need somebody who can help you and I want to be here for you when you need it. πŸ™‚

Anyway, that’s all. God bless, brother Shan!

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
March 26, 2010, 13:01

you are fabulous getting there

Joined in 2006
March 26, 2010, 14:05

Welcome Shan

WOW mate!!!!!!!

but so glad you have found some people that totally change the feeling I am sure many of us have had at some point where we think we were the only one on the planet.

Hope you feel welcome here and meet some awesome people and make some great friends from here.


Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
March 26, 2010, 15:11

….and hopefully when you get to come into a capital city from the country we will have freedom 2 b[e] people there you can connect with face to face.

Joined in 2010
March 26, 2010, 15:27

Actually… I currently am in Sydney… I am here for work until Sunday 27th.

Contacted Ben to try and arrange coffee tomorrow.

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
March 27, 2010, 12:56

cool……if ever you are in Sydney for the first friday of the month we have our regular chapter meeting

Joined in 2010
March 29, 2010, 11:03

Wow… So I have had a big week.

Met with Ben on Saturday, which was an amazing experience. He is an awesome person. He

I broke down as soon as I got home when I walked in the front door, realising I am really not alone and God may actually care for me.

I was up till 3 in the morning praying, thinking and watching and re-watching “For The Bible Tells Me So”

The next morning I came out to my friend, who also happens to by my manager…

I couldn’t actually come out with it so I grabbed my iPhone and pulled up something Ben had said on Facebook… She read it and was like “I am so glad you have found someone to talk to”.

She was so extremely cool about it. I can’t get over it.

Anyway… Now I have decided that I should tell my Mom….

I am heading to Sydney in June for my birthday (June 30 πŸ˜€ ) for two weeks… She is going to find “For The Bible Tells Me So” left on her pillow with a post-it note….

I also hope to make the July meeting… (Oh yeah… I have planned this trip very strategically πŸ˜› )

Thanks to everyone who has helped!

A very happy Shan πŸ˜€

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
March 29, 2010, 11:18

Yay for you Shan!! I’m so glad you got to meet up with Ben and that things went well with your manager/friend. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

That dvd of ‘For the Bible Tells Me So’ is a good one isn’t it? A very valuable resource.

All the best with your plans to tell your Mum. How do you think she’ll respond?? No doubt you would have seen Ben’s letter he’s used in the past for coming out.

Please keep us posted.


Ann Maree

Joined in 2010
March 29, 2010, 11:21

Ben was just brilliant… He really was…

I just can’t believe how it was not a big deal for her… So suh-weeeeet!

Honestly not sure… hence the two weeks away :P… I did see that letter and a few other people’s… Still deciding whether to leave a letter or stick with the post-it note and DVD… Will have to think and pray over it…

Shan πŸ™‚

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